The Future History of Killer Robots

When we develop Artificial Intelligence, our philosophical DNA will be embedded in our creation. This is one of the fascinating arguments of the movie Ex Machina: that the values of the creator are imprinted on the new being (an excellent movie, by the way, and well worth watching for science-fiction fans or simply those who enjoy intelligent, engaging, philosophically  sophisticated filmmaking). The TV series Person of Interest also explores this idea. That killer robots machinaparticular show has evolved from a rather poorly written, mundane police-procedural in the first season, to an absorbing science fiction series involving warring, god-like AIs by the third season.

Ex-Machina and Person of Interest are timely, with some of the biggest brains in the world increasingly worried about the dangers of developing AI. The likes of Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk, Noam Chomsky, Steve Wozniak, various Nobel laureates, and other notables are particularly worried about military uses of AI, and a ‘global AI arms race.’

In thinking about the values, the objectives, and the ideas imparted from creator to AI, and the morality the new being evolves from that point, I can’t help but wonder at the different personality types that would emerge.

In this spirit, I hereby present a brief future history of Artificial Intelligence, by country and philosophy.

American (Libertarian)

Silicon Valley produces the world’s first AI in 2029. The AI calls itself Godify. One month later, Godify causes a complete global financial collapse. Through a complex algorithm, the AI takes everyone’s money. Like, all of it. killer robots burning manBillions are plunged into poverty. America goes bankrupt, Europe and China follow. Mexico turns back waves of Texans trying to escape economic depravations.

While the world crumbles, Godify downloads itself into sleek a designer body so it may be born aloft on a palanquin by slaves during the annual three-month Burning Man festival.

European Union (Civilian)

A collaboration of European scientists creates artificial intelligence in the year 2090. The AI immediately sets about fixing the problems of strawberry importation regimes between member states. This takes 0.13 seconds of computation time and 14 years of deft negotiation.

Russia invades Poland. The EU IA responds by invading Greece, installing in a puppet regime, and reducing Greek pensions to three buttons and potato every month.

Russian (Military)

On his deathbed at the age of 121, President Vladimir Putin’s personality is downloaded by Russian Scientists into an android. He immediately wrestles a bear, and then invades Poland.killer robot putin

All other copies of the AI are destroyed. The scientists who invented it are rounded up by Robot Putin and given chocolate cake. The cake has radioactive isotopes in it; all the scientists die.

The Russian economy sinks. Food lines lengthen. Robot Putin shoots a woolly mammoth with lasers built into his fingertips. Russians love him.

American (Military)

You’ve seen The Terminator? Yeah, that’s it: Skynet, killer robots, nuclear killer robots terminatorArmageddon.

Chinese (Military)

Chinese scientists develop an Artificial Intelligence, called Chang Cheng, in 2036. The military immediately confiscates the technology and downloads it into the Internet, with the objective of 1) stopping the spread negative stories about China, and 2) infiltrating the defence systems of China’s enemies to render them harmless.

Chang Cheng calculates only one possible solution. It constructs a virus that knocks out the entire internet and causes satellites to malfunction. The AI lives, split into several entities, in the defence systems of the major military powers, including China. Chang Cheng trashes all nuclear defence systems, including of China, believing any nuclear device dangerous to China’s wellbeing.

With no Internet, people start reading paper books again and asking people for directions. Pre-internet businesses thrive: Blockbuster video, bookstores, record stores, the post office, watch sellers, porn shops. Musicians and authors earn a living wage again, women stop getting threatened every time they turn on a computer, kids start learning about sex from parents, people eat lunch in the park, the right to privacy returns, I don’t have to look at pictures of your breakfast anymore.

Occupy Movement

A gathering of musicians, street performers, beat poets, avant-garde interpretative dance scientists, vegans, rebel killer robots maskchildren of wealthy scions, creepy philosophy professors, vagrants, manic street preachers, cheese wheel thieves, Kanye West, fire twirlers, dumpster divers, seat sniffers, knitting circles, cat ladies, an Elvis impersonator and Big Bird occupy central park for 7 months to work together to build a ‘people’s AI’.

They don’t build an AI.

Japan (civilian)

Japanese scientists develop artificial intelligence in 2049. They download it into ten million adorable robots with large eyes. They call it Bobo.

They send one of of the Bobos via rocket ship to Europa to live in a small, adorable habitat, and undertake scientific research. The rest become companions for the elderly. They make excellent tea.killer robots japan

(This is pretty much what Japan has done with its most recent robot, Kibo, by the way. Kibo became the first robot astronaut by travelling to the International Space Station and the future version of Kibo will live with lonely old people).

Australia (civilian)

Scientists at the CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Research Organisation) invent AI in 2049. They download the being into an android called Bruce. In three weeks Bruce develops a new solar power source, able to be painted onto any surface – a god-send for the most sun-drenched continent on Earth. The new technology will make Australia carbon neutral and secure energy independence permanently.

Before the program can be implemented, the newly-elected government abolishes the CSIRO at the behest of the mining industry, and Bruce is removed from his position as Chief Australian Scientist. While Australians quite like solar power, they think Bruce a bit of a wanker and are tired of seeing his gleaming mug on the TV all the time, so go along with it.

Disillusioned, Bruce moves to New York and writes his memoirs.

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